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Broadmeadows TAFE Entry Exam

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by pvda, Mar 24, 2005.

  1. 1. Mick wants to put a Jim Beam sticker or a p0rn Star sticker on his car, which one will get him more roots?

    2. Spiro has got a big date on Saturday and wants to look ripped in his skin tight lycra top. How much will he need to bench press at the gym Friday night?

    3. Milan want to go to QBH on Saturday night, how many cousins does he need to take with him in case he gets thrown out and wants to fight the bouncers?

    4. How many chicks does Jimmy need to say he scored on the weekend if he wants to be a legend to his work mates at Ford on Monday?

    5. George is going to the Metro Underage Disco on Saturday, will he get in easier if he wears his KAPPA or ADIDAS tracksuit?

    6. If Stella (who is 26) is only allowed to go out for 8 hours on a weekend and on Friday night she goes out with her 14 cousins to Gamma Bar for 3 hours, how long can she go to Chapel Street for a coffee on Sunday night?

    7. Mohamed has 7 children and gets $600 a week from Social Security. If he goes to the TAB and puts half on a donkey in the 5th race at Flemington that pays 22 to 1 because Ali says it's a fix, how many stolen car stereos does he need to sell when the horse fails to finish?

    8. Jim has just got a big payout from Work Cover for a bad back, does he
    a. spend the money on a holiday back home to Greece?
    b. use the money to renovate his Templestowe house?
    c. go to the Casino and try to double it?

    9. From how far can you hear Ricky Martin being played in Jim's Valiant if he has just fitted two 500-watt amps and twin 15" subwoofers?

    10. Steve's mates are going down to Rye for the day. How much gel will he need to take with him if he goes into the water for a swim and still wants to look cool for the carnival later?

    11. If Con works in a fruit shop in Lalor, how much overtime will he need to do to pay Ali, the delivery driver, for the hot 18" Simmons wheels he just scored?

    12. How much faster will Mario's car go if he colour codes the mirrors, the brake rotors and windscreen wipers?

    13. Gino has seven stocking garters hanging off his Gemini rear vision mirror. How many more weddings will he need to go to until he can't fit any more on it?

    14. How much better will George's stereo system sound if he puts an ALPINE sticker on the back window of his Bluebird?

    15. Mohammed wants to drop a burnout at Bell Street McDonald's. How many RPM will he need to get to before he drops the clutch if his fat cousin is in the back seat?



    16. Mario is going to HEAT on Saturday night. How tight will his new hipster pants have to be so the door biatch won't check his ID?

    17. If Soula leaves school at 14 to become a Beauty Therapist, how long will she need to work before she saves enough money to go on a holiday to Greece?

    18. Con and his mates are going to the Kick Boxing fight at the Casino. How many fights will they try to start in the line to Inflation afterwards?
     
  2. 1. none fluffy dice

    2. the weight of his girl friend

    3. 3

    4. 3 and 2 of them at once

    5. mocisons or uggies

    6. cant , she has grappa to make sunday

    7. 3 alpine 1 marantz

    8. none of the above , spends it on usless mods for his XC

    9. cant , it had the wheels ripped of and left on bricks last time he went to the car wash

    10. 1 can of tar

    11. pays for it out of the illegal dole he is collecting from centrelink

    12. slower unless he puts another coat of laquer on it

    13. none , there his

    14. its clearer

    15. thats his mother and 9500rpm

    16. until you can nearly see the socks through the material

    17. buety therapist dont work they gossip all day

    18. only 1 as he will get his head smacked in
     
  3. Sorry Glen You failed, your spelling is too correct.
     
  4. I posted it (I've had it for ages) to help get into the mood for the Easternats at Sandown over the weekend.

    Even had a bike turn up (a Suzi with the rego spike).