Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

British Rail lacks a sense of humour

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by TonyE, Nov 27, 2007.

  1. From ABC online

    Tube announcer sacked over prank messages

    An official announcer for London's Tube system has been sacked after making spoof messages mocking American tourists, peeping Toms and sweaty commuters.

    Voiceover artist Emma Clarke, 36, recorded the announcements in the same smooth tones that have warned millions of passengers to "Mind The Gap" and posted them on her web site.

    The messages include:

    "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly."

    "Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman's chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert."

    "Would passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers."

    "Here we are crammed again into a sweaty Tube carriage ... If you're female smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He's probably not had sex for months."

    Ms Clarke said it was "just a bit of a laugh". But Tube operator Transport for London (TfL) failed to see the funny side and dropped her, after eight years.

    "London Underground is sorry to have to announce that further contracts for Miss Clarke are experiencing severe delays," a TfL spokesman told the Evening Standard.

    All the recordings.
  2. Gold.

    I used to have recording of some messages at heathrow that were done by some enterprising brits. Then wrote out messages phonetically and dressed up as chauffeur drivers to get the public announcers to read them out as foreign names of passenges they were to pick up.

    will have to see if i can still find them
  3. Someone posted those spoof Heathrow announcements a couple of weeks ago, I'm sure, Drew :LOL:.

    here they are anyway

    I remember the Two Ronnies were always taking the mickey out of British Rail announcements in their show; 30-odd years later BR still doesn't have a sense of humour.
  4. That is gold Hornet, here is my contribution to be tried one day:

    'could Myarz Feelzore and Mapu Izrani please come to the courtesy desk'

  5. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    Instant celebrity!!!
  6. When I was at Uni, I use to take the morning Blue Mountains intercity service into the city. The train conductor on the morning trains always had a sense of humour, as the train enters Central railway station in sydney - the train conductor puts on a airline like announcement over the PA, talking about the weather in Syd, which platform the train is arriving, connecting services etc, etc . LOL

    It made everyone laugh . . .

    I miss the ethnic announcers on the cityrail trains . . . :LOL:
    "youse please stand clear, the doors is closing" . . . hahahaha