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bridge to hawaii for the mysognist in us all

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by bonneville53, Jun 28, 2011.

  1. A man was riding his Harley along a California beach, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
    The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

    The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take!

    It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

    The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

    The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?'
  2. Perfect! And I'm no misogynist--I never even went to med school!
  3. Why does a wife smile on here wedding day?

    Because she know tonight will be the last BJ she ever gives.
  4. ..why would she bother if she's already married (that day!)??.... 8-[
  5. I was being generous.
  6. ...generous??..... :rofl: ... wishful thinking perhaps!!... :-w
  7. It's why I'm not married.
  8. some women like to give and get head
  9. Hopefully theyre the women who like to shower before jumping into bed as well....

    Its the first step for anyone wanting some mouth action downstairs.
  10. ...Sometimes you like eggs....and sometimes you like bacon with it!.... lol
  11. bwahaha so true!

    this applies for men and women completely!!!!

    or people who just went to the toilet and then think they'll be getting some mouth action downstairs... :sick::sick::sick::sick:
  12. I always like ham sandwiches.
  13. .. actually, make mine a sausage!!... :wink:
  14. all these talk of food is making me hungry lol..........i thought we were talking about sex and chicks?
  15. I saw a ski-boat once when I was a kid, called 'Miss Oginny'. I couldn't figure out, at the time, why that seemed to amuse all the men and piss off all the women.
  16. .... back on topic tho!!....(lol)

    You guys had better make sure that you don't upset you women!!.. 'cos one bite.... and....:eek:
  17. OK back on topic. Stolen from the Triumph forum:

    How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
    Marry It!

    What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
    A battery has a positive side.

    Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
    Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

    How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
    Put a nipple on it.

    Why do women fake orgasms ?
    Because they think men care.

    If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
    Made her chain too long

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    Why do men pass gas more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
    It's called a Wedding Cake.

    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
  18. What do you say to a woman with one black eye?
    Nothing, she's a fast learner.

    Oh, we can't laugh at that around here?
  19. what's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?

    about 40 kilos.
  20. Why do brides wear white?

    All kitchen appliance come in white.