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Biker Jokes : no disrespect intended

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Hamamatsu, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. Little Old Lady Goes Into A Biker Bar And Demands To Speak With the Leader
    The Leader Of Gang Stands Up And Asks" What Do Ya Need Granny?
    I Want To Join Your Gang, She Says.
    Do You Even Own A Leather Jacket? He Asks.
    Sure Do.... Its Out Side On My Hog ! She Replies.
    Got Any Tattooes?
    Sure Do .....As She Bares Her Arm.
    Hmmm, Well Have You Ever Been Picked Up by The Fuzz Before? He Asks.
    Nope, But I Have Been Swung By My Nipples A Few Times ! She Replies.

    ********************

    What Is The Difference In A Biker On A Harley And A Hoover Vac.?

    The Dirtbag Is On The Outside Of The Harley !

    ********************

    You might be a Harley rider if :

    if Your Bike Leans Further On It's Sidestand Than It Does On The Highway.....................................

    if You Are Left In Awe By The Mechanical Advantage Of A Doorknob..........................................

    if Your Bike Cost More Than Your House And Has Fewer Wheels...............................................

    if The Output Decibel Number Of Your Exhaust Exceeds Your Horsepower
    output Number................................................

    if You Have Ever Found A Grasshopper In Your Beard.............................................



    if You Have Ever Blown Your Suspension----------------in Your Seat...........................................

    if You Get Blown Away By A Moped................................................

    if You Are Unable To Let Your Bike Simply Idle At A Stop Light...................................................

    if You Don't Wave To Sportbike Riders Cause You Don't Want To Drop Your Tools...................................................

    if You Confuse The Word "character" With The More Accurate Term "engineering Flaws".................................................

    if You Think Running The 1/4 Mile In Mid 15's Is Really, Really Fast..................................................

    if "water Cooled" Means Standing On The Side Of The Road, In The Rain, Waiting For A Wrecker................................................
     
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  2. heard the first 2 a few times before but the harley ones had me giggling
     
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  3. 98% or all Harley's ever built are still on the road. Only 2% managed to make it home.
     
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  4. A tough-looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump
    off a bridge so he stops.

    "What are you doing?" he asks.

    "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

    While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an
    opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a
    kiss?"

    So, she does.

    After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have
    ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are
    you committing suicide?"

    "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."
     
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  5. Oh, damn TonyE...I almost pewked dude ! (y)
     
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