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Bike Crash Testimony

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Gromit, Jan 24, 2007.

  1. I've shamelessly stolen this from sport-touring.net, who shamelessly stole it from a Gold Wing forum:

    A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as some churches call it, "Cry Sunday," one Sunday morning, took the microphone and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:

    "I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his Goldwing, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum."

    The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats. "Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new.

    A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible
    accident sank in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, "There but for the grace of God go I."

    Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation: "My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill. That word is: sternum."
  2. That's too funny....reminds me of the old lone ranger joke

    "Tonto...I said Posse...not pussy"
  3. :shock: man i would hate for her to have to remember the line " circular incision "
  4. Pheeew, lucky he didn't break his pelvis! :LOL:
  5. A lady was sending out fliers advertising a series of debates to be held where a large panel would argue each case.

    The chairman called her aside and pointed to the heading:

    "You are corially invited to a Mass Debate"

    "Uhh! Can we call it something else?"