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Best news headlines...

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Tweetster, Mar 10, 2010.

  1. THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES

    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    [No, really?]



    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    [Now that's taking things a bit far!]

    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
    [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    [What a guy!]

    Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so!]

    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

    War Dims Hope for Peace
    [I can see where it might have that effect!]

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    [You think?]

    Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
    [Imagine that!]

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    [Who would have thought!]

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

    Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    [he probably IS the battery charge!]

    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    [Weren't they fat enough?!]

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    [Taste like chicken?]

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

    Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
    [Boy, are they tall!]

    And the winner is.........................

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Found Dead
     
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