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Being Green

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by alan55, Mar 10, 2013.

  1. Being Green...

    Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

    The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

    The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

    She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

    Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were truly recycled.

    But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

    Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our schoolbooks. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.

    But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.

    We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

    But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

    Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throwaway kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

    But that young lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

    Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

    But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

    We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

    But we didn't have the green thing back then.

    Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

    But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

    Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart-ass young person.

    We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Mmmm, it appears a certain Mr Kawasaki has a lot to answer for ............
  3. The Players:
    Michael Palin - First Yorkshireman;
    Graham Chapman - Second Yorkshireman;
    Terry Jones - Third Yorkshireman;
    Eric Idle - Fourth Yorkshireman;
    The Scene:
    Four well-dressed men are sitting together at a vacation resort.
    'Farewell to Thee' is played in the background on Hawaiian guitar.

    Aye, very passable, that, very passable bit of risotto.

    Nothing like a good glass of Château de Chasselas, eh, Josiah?

    You're right there, Obadiah.

    Who'd have thought thirty year ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Château de Chasselas, eh?

    In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

    A cup o' cold tea.

    Without milk or sugar.

    Or tea.

    In a cracked cup, an' all.

    Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

    The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

    But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

    Because we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness, son".

    Aye, 'e was right.

    Aye, 'e was.

    I was happier then and I had nothin'. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.

    House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, 'alf the floor was missing, and we were all 'uddled together in one corner for fear of falling.

    Eh, you were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in t' corridor!

    Oh, we used to dream of livin' in a corridor! Would ha' been a palace to us. We used to live in an old water tank on a rubbish tip. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House? Huh.

    Well, when I say 'house' it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us.
    We were evicted from our 'ole in the ground; we 'ad to go and live in a lake.

    You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us living in t' shoebox in t' middle o' road.

    Cardboard box?


    You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.

    Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of 'ot gravel, work twenty hour day at mill for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

    Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.

    Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

    And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

    They won't!
    • Like Like x 3
  4. ^^^^ All time Classic
  5. Timeless classic
  6. Actually the original was from "At Last the 1948 Show". It featured John Cleese, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graham Chapman and Marty Feldman.

    The Python version was one of the rare occasions they didn't use original material.

  7. Because a teenager is responsible for the current state of affairs and the last 50 years...
    I didn't make any friends the last time I made that point, in reply to the above blurb. I gave up when they started blaming the hippies :banghead:
    • Like Like x 1