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Beer warning ( Oh so true )

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by archy, Mar 19, 2006.

  1. Last month, National University of
    Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis
    that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men
    should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that
    beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by
    drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men
    drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1hour period. It was then observed
    that 100% of the test subjects: argued over nothing, refused to apologize
    when obviously wrong, Gained
    weight, Talked excessively without making sense, Became overly emotional,
    Couldn't drive, Failed to think rationally, Had to sit down while
    No further testing was considered necessary.

  2. So last night i must have been getting in touch with my feminine side

    No wonder i felt so bitchy :(
  3. What about its ability to give you, albeit temporary, multi-lingual skills?

    I'm told that I speak fluent Swahili whenever I have a few too many....

    Or the ability for it to turn you into a rock star? Or that you suddenly become attractive to all those gorgeous chicks at the nightclub, who, 4 hours earlier were somewhat average looking.....

    Yep, it's amazing stuff, beer.
  4. Ahh fluent Drunkenese. The entire male population knows how to speak it but generally do not utter their first Drunkenese words until about the age of 16, generally in a public park...possibly perched on top of the play equipment.

    The language mostly consists of combinations of the following base language blocks:

    - 'I love you man'
    - 'your my best mate but <insert comment that would other be unsaid if sober>
    - any lyrics from ACDC and/or Guns n Roses
  5. ... or Hunters and Collectors. I remember reading about someone who loved to attend every one of their gigs in the suburbs, claiming the sight of roomful of flannie-clad beer-swilling yobbos yelling out "YOU DON'T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M A WOMAN ANYMORE' was in itself worth the price. :)
  6. So true, i hope the girls in you life do read this, it could be painful! :)