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Beer vs Vagina

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by ibast, Oct 13, 2014.

  1. Beer

    21 vote(s)
  2. Vagina

    56 vote(s)
  1. Beer vs. Vagina

    1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
    One point to BEER

    2.Warm beer tastes awful.
    One point to VAGINA

    3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
    One point to BEER

    4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
    One point to VAGINA

    5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

    6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
    One point to VAGINA

    7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
    One point to VAGINA

    8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA

    9. You normally don't find old beer.
    One point to BEER

    10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
    One point to VAGINA

    11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.
    One point to VAGINA

    12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
    One point to VAGINA

    13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
    One point to BEER

    14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER

    15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down.
    One point to BEER

    16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, asian, hispanic, and eskimo...
    Call it a DRAW

    17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
    One point to BEER

    18. Beer doesn't have a mother
    One point to BEER

    19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you
    drink it
    One point to BEER

    20. Beer with yeast in it still tastes rather nice.
    One point to BEER


    That's it! The matter is settled, the unfortunate yet tasty winner is: BEER

    PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.
    An extra point for BEER ((((((((sorry girls))))))))
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Beer makes you act like a massive cock. TEN POINTS FOR VAGINA.
    • Like Like x 2
  3. #3 smileedude, Oct 13, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2014
    Making your BEER look like it's 12 years old isn't the in thing at the moment. Point BEER

    "Sweaty horse blanket" is a highly desirable chatecteristic of BEER. Point BEER.
  4. I reckon I've seen Vagina make many act like a massive cock too.
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  5. Vagina........no contest.
  6. My comment about being a massive cock wasn't gender specific. 5 points deducted from Gryffindor.
  7. Is that a type of beer or a euphemism for Vagina?
  8. Actually it sounds like a disease
  9. Beer doesn't claim more points than warranted. One point beer.
  10. I'd have to vote for Vagina, 'cos I can always brew my own beer.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. 10 beers makes any vagina appealing

    I'm not sure of that's a point for beer or a lucky point for the odd unlucky vagina
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Good point and no matter how many Vagina's I'd sunk, I still wouldn't feel like a Tooheys New.
  13. You certainly wouldn't want an Extra Dry ;)
    • Like Like x 1
  14. I dunno mate.....

    At my age, and physical condition, I can still manage a reasonable number of beers each day.........
  15. well one way to settle the argument is to drink your beer from the furry cup
    • Like Like x 2
  16. Good luck finding a furry one these days.
  17. Vagina will break the heart,Beer will soothe the soul 10 points beer(y)
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Not sure about breaking hearts but I sure have seen them crushing soda cans..
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. what you talkin about willis?
  20. They shoot laser beems n shit at them now to get rid of the furry bits.

    Don't think I've had a curly whirly stuck between my teeth in a decade.