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ask a stupid question....

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by removed-6, May 5, 2008.

  1. I've got 2 dogs. I bought a large bag of Meaty Bites at Big W and was standing in line at the check-out.

    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Meaty Bites Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 25 kgs before I woke in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Meaty Bites and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the food. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the middle of the road licking my dick and a car hit me.

    I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

    Stupid biatch...why else would I buy dog food
  2. :rofl: too funny! I had actual tears from that one.
  3. :shock: :) :grin: :LOL: :grin: :LOL: :grin: :LOL: :grin: :LOL:
  4. Funny. . . but your response shows that you are a married man Triway. :?
  5. Isn't it lovely when friendly people spark up conversations! She seemed like a nice lady, she probably has a dog too and wanted to enjoy a little banter with another dog lover. Unless she was hitting on you!

    Anyway she probably won't make the mistake of trying to be friendly again.

    I'm guessing that you have to feed the dog and you resent it. You bought it for the kids and they probably neglect it so you also have to walk it every night and you resent that too.

    So now I feel sorry for the lady, your kids and the dog!

    Good story though.
  6. :rofl:

    Even funnier than my original post is the fact that you people think I own a dog! :shock:

    We are in the jokes section aren't we? :?

    It's a joke people, it was not me! I know better than to sit in the middle of the road to play with my tool! :LOL: :p :cool:
  7. And what is even funnier is that nobody remembers the same joke from when it was posted every other time :p

  8. Yeah, fair point. I'm in an altogether too serious a mood to be browsing the jokes forum.

    Well done making it sound so real. A sign of a well told joke.

    Sorry for not having read it earlier, I'll have to increase my joke study time.
  9. that was GREAT. How long you thought about that story to say, well another story.
    Last month someone asked me why i was getting the dog food with a picture of a border collie on, after i had told her i have a German shepered. i explained to her that any dog breed can have any of the dog foods as long as it was nutritious etc. she exlaimed "oh". I left Coles after paying and burst into laughter much to the delight of the mother and 2 kids putting shopping in their boot, in the carpark