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April fool jokes

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' at netrider.net.au started by Woodsy, Mar 23, 2007.

  1. Defence Attorney:
    Will you please state your age?

    Little Old Lady:
    I am 86 years old.

    Defense Attorney:
    Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

    Little Old Lady:
    There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

    Defense Attorney:
    Did you know him?

    Little Old Lady:
    No, but he sure was friendly.

    Defense Attorney:
    What happened after he sat down?

    Little Old Lady:
    He started to rub my thigh.

    Defense Attorney:
    Did you stop him?

    Little Old Lady:
    No, I didn't stop him.

    Defense Attorney:
    Why not?

    Little Old Lady:
    It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

    Defense Attorney:
    What happened next?

    Little Old Lady:
    He began to rub my breasts.

    Defense Attorney:
    Did you stop him then?

    Little Old Lady:
    No, I did not stop him.



    Defense Attorney:
    Why not?

    Little Old Lady:
    His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

    Defense Attorney:
    What happened next?

    Little Old Lady:
    Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy"
    that I just laid down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

    Defense Attorney:
    Did he take you?

    Little Old Lady:
    Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"
    And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
     
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  2. :LOL:
    LOL!

    Wicked ol' grannie!
     
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  3. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA :LOL:
     
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  4. That's hilarious Woodsy.... a little old lady with spunk! :LOL: :cool:
     
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  5. oh god... :LOL: :LOL:
     
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  6. urge to make crass and innappropriate comment rising...breathe in, breathe out... urge subsiding...gone now...

    Ha Ha SPUNK!!! :LOL:
     
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  7. yeah, I thought the whole problem was that she was an old lady WITHOUT spunk

    (oh yeah, I went there)
     
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  8. for all the pedants

    In 1977 the British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement in honor of the tenth anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semi-colon-shaped islands. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian's phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer's terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that then gripped the British tabloids in the following decades.
     
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  9. Oh, feral thought! :shock:
     
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