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apprentice stories

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by jeffatav, Mar 30, 2007.

  1. At the risk of giving a heads up to all the 1st year apprentices that may watch this thread, what about sharing some of the things we have done to the gullible 1st year apprentices.

    I'll start.

    I was in charge of this major construction site on the corner of Miller and Pacific Hwy, North Sydney with about 100+ guys on site and had a cheeky 1st year straight out of school that needed a little lesson.

    I teed up the hardware store up the road and told everyone on site that a game is on.

    I sent him up the road, about 30 minute walk, to get a "population tool" and typical cheeky boy had the audacity to question the General Foreman (me). I blew up and told him to get going.(and laughed under my breath as he went)

    The guys at the hardware store were great and asked him "how long, six inch, nine inch...what?"
    back he came and I exploded saying a six inch of course. By this stage he wasn't questioning a thing!

    Off he went and the hardware boys asked "black, pink, red.....what?"back he came and so on and so on ALL DAY!

    rough or smooth............bent or straight...............rigid or flaccid..............ready or spent...................shiny or dull...........lubed or dry........ etc etc.

    By this stage the whole site was watching the goings on and were waiting for the penny to drop and it wasn't until 3.30 when everyone was ready to go home that I couldn't hold a straight face anymore and broke down and the whole site burst into hysterics.............GOLDEN MOMENT :rofl: :rofl:

    He never was cheeky to anyone on that site ever again and turned out to become a wonderful tradesman/leading hand.

    I wonder if he is now pulling that same stunt??

    I have many more! how much fun can you have with a newbie????

    C'mon, share the joy.


  2. ok my stories are second hand from my BF but here we go.

    (oh they did the 'population tool' joke to one of the other guys too)

    New bloke who was very very very eager was asking everyone "anything I can do? can I get you something?"

    so one of the guys said to him "why don't you go see Roach (my BF's nickname at that workplace) about a long wait?"

    the apprentice thought a "long weight" was some kind of a tool used in panelbeating & said "sure!" and ran to my BF, and said "I need a long wait"

    My BF said "one minute" and turned back to the job he was doing.
    The apprentice stood there...stood there...stood there...started to fidgit....stood there....and after about 15 mins he said "listen, how long is this wait going to be!!!"

    my BF said "well how long would you like your wait to be?"

    at that point the apprentice realised what had happened & phrases of 'you bastards! I'll get you!" erupted from the apprentice, while laughter erupted from the other workers.
  3. a well worn classic! :LOL:

    When I was a first year they tried to send me to the cake shop for smoko and ask for a creamed horn! (the girl behind the counter was such a sort with thongs, flared jeans, orange puffy sleeved top and a fag hanging from the mouth! I was in love! :LOL: )
  4. another story for you.
    my BF once asked this same apprentice to get something for him. apprentice said "sure!"

    BF handed him a tin & said "Can you grab me a tin of welding sparks??"

    he laughed hysterically for ages watching this kid standing next to one of the guys welding with a tin trying to catch the sparks flying around.
  5. Other oldies are...

    "left handed screw driver"
    "Tin of striped safety paint"
    "Box of welding sparks"

    Many many years ago, I was a snot nosed apprentice sent to get these items, the left handed screw driver was easy, just used a texta to write "left hand threads only" on the handle.

    Striped safety paint took a bit of thought, but eventually I found a small tin of yellow paint, which I added a "swirl" of black into, went down like a lead fart.

    Welding sparks wasn't too hard, scraped off the filings and grinding remains from around the bench grinder and put em in a box, when you throw em into a flame they spark quite nicely.

    But that over-use of cranial matter marked me as the apprentice to get. I was caught severely when I went for a slash and they had wired up the stainless steel urinal to an automotive coil and battery. When my wee completed the circuit the coil discharged and my ol fella got a shock :shock:

    B@st@ges, they reckon they heard the girlish squealing in the next building...........
  6. Aah they were the days when you could set an apprentinces pants on fire and cover him in oil, jeez they were fun :roll: Fire hurts :cry:
  7. just saw your post edgelett, see, I was smatter than that guy :wink:

    Not an apprentice but a new guy at the last place of work.
    Once he got past his probation period, he had to go buy cakes (standard penalty for such things, birthdays etc)

    Cakes are grabbed from the local "CWA" cake shop, one of the favourites is a Golden Syrup and Date loaf that we called a "hairy date cake" cos when you bit the dates, they had little hairy bits hanging out, and it was a typical toilet humour pun on "Sticky Date"

    So he asks "what sort of cake?" We say "Hairy date cake!"

    He goes to the little old lady at the CWA and asks "got any hairy date cakes?"

    Apparantly CWA ladies do very good imitations of cats bums with their lips.
  8. lol - nice ones Iff!

    last but not least - the squeeky part story.

    this didn't happen to an apprentice but it's worth telling.

    One of the guys where my BF was a panelbeater was TERRIFIED of mice. like REALLY TERRIFIED!!!

    they had laid some rat poison after finding some droppings, and when my BF came in that morning he found a large rat desperately trying to fight off the effects, but slowly succumbing to the poison.

    being the nice guy he is, he stuck it in a box & taped it up. he then handed it to the bloke that's afraid of mice & said "Can you take this to the front office, it has to be returned cause it's faulty."

    the guy said "what is it?"

    BF said "it's a squeeky part"

    the guy took it & started to walk...that's when the rat moved. the guy stopped. rat made a noise. he slowly put the box down, and opened it up......

    apparently no-one has ever screamed as loud or jumped as high as this guy did that day!
  9. Winner!I gotta remember that one... squeaky parts :rofl:
  10. I was to big to be picked on but I was involved in welding an apprentice inside a steel pipe once.
    It wasnt sealed up but it knocked the cheek out of him. Arrr those good old boilermaking days........
  11. When I worked in a supermarket years ago, we the new guy to the office to get a bag of compressed air for the cardboard bailer.

    We also used to lock guys in the bailer when they were 're-stringing' it and start the bailer. The press-plate only went down to about waist level, but when you're locked inside and and you get pushed down till you're on your knees in a ball, it can get pretty scary!
    Loved the sound of a panicking stock-boy fearing for his life!

  12. The worse thing physically we ever did to a cheeky apprentice was to get him to the groungd and padlock him up in chains and throw him into the lunch shed (with the obligatory p0rn wallpaper in those days) and leave him there for a couple of hours while all the workers had there lunch and had to step around him. Some threw their rubbish om him as well.

    Not a happy camper after that!!!
  13. That is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. I bet you only did it to younger blokes who couldn't defend themselves.
  14. Guess you haven't heard many stupid things then.

    And we did it to pretty much anyone. I even had it done to me. Hell of an adrenaline rush lemme tell ya.
  15. It was all fun and games where i did my apprenticeship but the funniest thing i remember was one day when a panelbeater tried to get me. I went into the toilet, he saw me and went and got the crackers but there was someone else in there so i left. He lights up 2 crackers and throws them under the door, while they start going off, one bunger and one flying wheel, he got the fire extinguisher(spelling?) over the top of the door and let it off, one of the powder ones.

    To the panelbeaters surprise my boss comes running out of the toilet :rofl: soon after he didnt work with us anymore
  16. Dude i worked in the abbatoirs and cleaning up after suicides for 10yrs...Ya really dont wanna know :LOL: :LOL:
  17. PNUT... thank you very much for your restraint............

    thank you, thank you, thank you :shock:
  18. I can understand that its cheaper, but seems kinda cruel. Anyway, how do you get a sheep to suicide?
  19. you tell it it's fat and hairy for 5 years or so. depression gets to lambs so if you start early you'll be pretty sweet.

  20. hahaha i seen straight through that when dad tried to pull that on me. i was like um nah no such things as those. i cant belive some people dont just think... :shock: :grin: