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Another WTF

Discussion in 'The Pub' started by Justus, Mar 23, 2007.

  1. * not a joking matter*

    Just got home.

    First thing, mother comes up to me & tells me she saw the 3yo licking
    privates of 2yo brother.

    Mum asks him who taught/told him that. He says "a girl at school"

    I told her to inform the teachers. She says no, let it lie & see if
    it happens again. She says she told him to tell her if anyone does
    it again & told him not to let anyone touch him there.

    I asked him myself & he again said "girl at skool daddy"

    I'm not overly concerned but not sure if I'm supposed to be.

    Interest to know what would you guys/girls would do in this situation?
  2. I'd be round at "girl at skools" fathers house having a polite but firm word with the parents...
  3. The question that must be asked is where did the girl at school learn this behaviour from. She may be in some danger. I'd report it to the playgroup and possibly your equivalent of our DOCS Hotline. It might save that little girl from a lifetime of abuse.
  4. WTF!!!! :shock: :shock: man i'll take maggots in the kitchen any day vs having to deal with that....

    I have -100 experence in dealing with siuations like this. But i have to say it is wrong... so so wrong and some one profesional should get involved with the school you and the "girl" at school.
  5. Just let me know when it's appropriate to go to town here Kish. Only reason I'm holding back is cuz you're loads bigger than me. :grin:

    FWIW, I blame television.
  6. I'd definitely see what I can find out before involving DOCS (or equivalent). I've seen my cousin go through unnecessary DOCS equivalent involvement due to something offhand that his daughter said at kindy and for that, you get a record with them, even if it's found to be nothing at all.

    Absolutely be concerned about where and how this has come about, however look into it first and find out what you can. Give people the chance to explain themselves and then make an informed decision based on the risk that you believe your kids are in. On the other hand, if no one's talking and no one knows where/how it was learnt, absolutely get DOCS (equivalent) involved to MAKE people talk.

    Kids have no reason to lie about stuff like that. They just have no concept at that age of what's right and wrong unless they're told as much and even then, they're generally parrots about it. It sounds to me that it has been learnt by another child because there's no concept of right/wrong about it, just where it was learnt from. Having said that, your child may not be the one in danger - it may well be the girl at school who's in danger from someone in her life and she's just showing what she's learnt.

    I'd absolutely be looking into this, if nothing else just to set your own mind at ease about your kids and the kids your kids associate with. Something, somewhere, is amiss.
  7. I agree with rourkster
  8. i'd be telling a teacher at playgroup quick smart.
    chances are there the 'girl at school' might be being abused.
  9. [​IMG] Loz,

    dont know why I added that bit in :roll:

    BTW, thanks for the replies everyone.

    Your posts changed my way of thinking as soon as I read em because you
    pointed out things I hadnt considered.

    I relayed these to the boss & looks like you all convinced her as well. She is
    now going to say something when he next goes on Wed.

    Still has me thinking because I dont see how this could happen there. Its not
    a big place & there are (3) ladies working there & we been sending kids there
    for the last 13yrs (when the eldest was 4). :?

    Oh well. We'll see what happens.
  10. i would find out if 'girl at school' is an adult. could be a teacher.

    get your boy to point her out.

    i would be concerned, your son has miss-interpreted the behaviour which is very normal for a child of his age.

    BE VERY SECRETIVE ABOUT IT! dont let the teachers know you're on to them. this will give you a chance to get evidence.

    stump it up! :cool:
  11. ps; try not to give the kids the impression 'sex is wrong', that can do a lot of damage
  12. Definitely tell the teacher.
  13. but jax, that sort of behaviour isn't about sex, it's about the outworkings of a mind that is being tampered with by an adult.......
  14. M8 you have to get onto this ASAP.

    I wouldn't necessarily be notifying a "teacher" but if there is a centre president then I would be notifying them. Somebody on the committee of management. Dont leave it until next visit either. Needs to be done now. Just remember that children of that age have rewally short memories and might not even remember doing it next week.
  15. the best and only option is to bring it up at the school and let the professionals handle it.
    the school system here in vic is very well geared up to handle any alleged abuse.

    the girl could have inadvertently seen a p0rn movie or anything so it pays to talk to the appropriate people which in this case is the child's school
    Mandatory reporting means that the incidents have to be investigated thoroughly.
  16. +1 Exactly what smee said.

    Once teachers have this information, they're bound to report it by law. They can have it handled properly and efficiently. :)

    I wouldn't tell the girls parents. There is a chance they already know of abuse and will try to cover it up if tipped off (fcuking scary thought, but all too common).

    I know I shouldn't have to add this but for the sake of providing general comment......, Do not discuss this incident with other parents. This sort of thing can turn lives upside down and ruin innocent peoples reputations. As smee said, she could've inadverantly seen a porno. She may also have been experimenting after overhearing a joke and asking her older sibling for an explanation. She may have simply seen the family dog do it to himself. Kids see things and hear things they often don't understand and experiment in order to gain some understanding. What appears to be abnormal behaviour can sometimes be normal behaviour in an unusual context so it's important not to jump to conclusions. I'm not downplaying the need for concern and strongly recommend informing the school's staff, but just highlighting the need for sensitivity. :)
  17. Agree with Smee. Teacher/ manager is the first port of call.
    I tend to think committee of mangement will freak out and start a witch hunt of the staff to protect their own arses (seen it happen in different circumstances) Same with DOCS - nothing but self-interested arse-protectors. But the staff, as a group, are the most knowledgeable and trained to deal with this.
    Could well be a simple explanation, don't get too worked up 'til you know the facts.
  18. Yep, agree with the general consensus, raise the issue at daycare but keep it between yourselves until it is dealt with appropriately.

    The kiddy car park mothers group would go to town if it was leaked, and it will be relayed out of context, out of proportion and yet may be something completely innocent.

    Deal with it first and hopefully it was in complete innocence (although I don't consider that normal behaviour for a child of that age).

    Hope it all works out for everyone involved.
  19. You'll probably find that as soon as a person in that kind of position is told about it, it's illegal for them *not* to report it, regardless of what you've asked them to do in the interests of stopping the gossip. When you report this, it's going to go as far as it should about as quickly as it should otherwise the people at the daycare centre will be risking their own jobs/careers. (provided it's the same for teachers as for childcare workers and all around the country .. it's called mandatory notification).
  20. Appreciate everything thats been said.

    The more I think about it, the more my concerns are shifting to whoever
    this girl is as well.

    Mother just woke up to feed baby. She says there are (2) teachers. Not (3)
    as I said in an earlier post.

    Nah. He knows the difference & would have said so. He knows all the
    teachers names.

    He hasent been there long & dosent know all the kids names yet which is
    why hes referred to person as 'girl'