I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic. "Wow!" I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit hairier than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge! "Yeah," I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby hairy men were cute! "Anyway..." she giggled " I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" So I told her to f**k off.