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Alternative Christmas songs

Discussion in 'The Pub' at netrider.net.au started by ibast, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. #1 ibast, Dec 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    I've never been a big fan of Christmas and big part of that is the sickly, tacky, sweetness of it. Christmas Carols being the biggest example.

    So I'm after alternative Christmas songs.

    Here's an obvious one to kick it off. The Pogues; Fairytale of New York:[media=youtube]Pv0hlbWpa1w[/media]

  2. #2 Nickers330, Dec 14, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  3. Oh, I dunno. Some of the pre-Victorian stuff ain't too bad. Vicky and Bert had spoit it by the late C19th though.

    Just at the weekend I was regretting not being more musically talented so that I could write a hit album themed around the horrors of Christmas shopping. Tracks such as "There's Always Something Sticky on the Floor in JB HiFi", "Why Are All the Fuckwits Here in Bunnings?" and "If I were a Terrorist I'd Anthrax Midland Gate" all spring to mind :twisted:.
  4. =D>

    How about, "I bet that piece of shit will be broken by lunch time"?
  5. Santa Claus Was Going to Town.
  6. Here's a couple:

  7. The Pogues & Kirsty McColl::::::::::: Fairytale of New York (good one IBast)

    and my personal favourite

    Tom Waites:::::::::::Silent Night & Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis

  8. Loving it - I'm burning these to CD and taking them to the in-laws on Christmas Day :D
  9. #9 ibast, Dec 15, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    Arrogant Worms: Santa's Gonna kick your ass

  10. Here's a couple I wrote myself...

    WHILE SHEPHERDS WASHED THEIR JOCKS (While Shepherds watched their flocks)

    While shepherds washed their jocks by night,
    With Omo, Fab and Drive,
    Their sheep did falter from the smell
    Yea, none were left alive.

    They gasped and stumbled, one and all.
    Then laid them down to die.
    An angel of the Lord came down
    With these words from on high.

    "Please save us from these whiffs from Hell.
    We noxious gas abhor.
    Ye take note of these words of wisdom
    Now and ever more."

    "Be sure to wash your jocks each day
    And smelly socks we hate.
    For questionable hygiene habits
    Make God quite irate."

    AWAY WITH THE FAIRIES (Away in a manger)

    Away with the fairies, you dole-bludging twit
    You expect us to keep you, you ignorant shit. (or “git” for those suffering from an oversupply of correctness)
    No right minded boss would touch you with a pole.
    To do bugger all is your ultimate goal.

    You sit ‘round the house in your flannelette shirt.
    “I can’t get a job”, you continually assert.
    Employment is out there if only you’d try,
    But you sit on your bum watching life pass you by.

    The taxpayer’s sick of your dole grasping ways
    Going thru life in a booze induced haze.
    Get off your buttocks and go find a job.
    If any would have you, you lazy assed slob.

    There was another one called, "Hark, the Herald-Sun Did Think", but it's out of date now. I'll have to rewrite it.
  11. #11 Ljiljan, Dec 15, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    I was thinking of 'Ho Ho Ho'.

  12. Hehehe...yeah that one ^^^ too (y)
  13. #13 ogden, Dec 15, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
    [URL="]The Fall - A Protein Christmas[/URL]
    The Fall - No Xmas for John Quays[/URL]
    [URL="]My Morning Jacket - Xmas Curtain[/URL]
    [URL="]Elastica - Father Christmas[/URL]
    [URL="]The Walkmen - No Christmas While I'm Talking[/URL]
  14. Kevin bloody Wilson did a whole christmas album..............
  15. #15 Choofalong, Dec 16, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015
  16. It occured to me just how creepy the lyrics to "Santa claus is coming to town" are.

    With the happy music behind it, it reminded me of westboro baptist church.
  17. I have a cd with a few songs that I had found many years ago on the net.

    Some of the classics are:

    Rudolph the deep throat reindeer

    Frosty the pervert

    I want a blowup doll for christmas

    I saw mummy blowing santa claus
  18. #18 ibast, Dec 18, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2015