A psycho tried to kill me today. Time: About quarter to four, Friday afternoon. Location: Fitzsimons Lane, between Eltham and Templestowe. If you know the area, then you’ll know the big round about at the end of Eltham, intersection of Main Rd and Fitzsimons Lane. If you’re coming from Templestowe direction, you pass over a big hill before approaching the roundabout. This is where the incident occurred. Two lanes going each direction, with dividing strip in the middle. Picture: approximate location. Incident: I was travelling up the hill on my way towards the Eltham township. Significant (afternoon) traffic occupied both lanes but was moving at the speed limit of 80kph. I was in the right hand lane. I noticed, as I was ascending, that the very sporty grey car with black decals or paint features was right on my tail, very close. I looked behind to get a good idea about the proximity, then hit the throttle and closed some of the gap between me and the car in front. A few moments later the car was next to me, with its right-side wheels, perhaps a foot or so of the vehicle, in my lane. I figured that the driver was changing lanes (right to left) and infringing upon mine as he did. Picture: Red arrow shows movement of said vehicle. Then, with driver of the car looking at me, his vehicle began coming across on top of me, pressing me towards solid divider. I hammered the throttle to get out of there, but he did the same to keep up. The driver was a tanned, middle-aged male with a large, muscular build, and wearing a fluoro yellow singlet. This continued for a brief moment, with me accelerating faster than him but rapidly running out of space. I made it out in front just in time. To give some idea: there is a no-right-hand-turn sign sitting on the very end of the solid divider. I brushed this sign with my elbow. That’s how close it was. My tyres must have been right up against the divider. Picture: the no-right-hand-turn sign. Once in front I turned around with an arm out in a “what the hell?” gesture. The driver then tried the same move again, moving left and coming up next to me with his vehicle partially in my lane. I hit the throttle again but we were approaching the roundabout by that point. The driver was yelling and gesturing at me (window open). Some situational awareness must have caused me to slow down, but I was so tied up in the movements of the psycho driver and getting away from him that I failed to perceive where the car in front of me in my lane had stopped. My front wheel went into its rear bumper, causing my back wheel to lift of the ground by something less than a foot. The impact was not hard enough to cause me to drop the bike. The offending driver had proceeded past in the left lane and was then stopped several car lengths in front, and was laughing. I flicked down the side stand, dismounted and began approaching his vehicle. But the traffic moved first and he drove off. I then signalled to the driver whose vehicle I had hit, suggesting that they proceed through the roundabout and pull over on the other side. I explained to her what had happened. She had been aware that something was happening behind her but had not seen the driver try to take me out. She was, none the less, very sympathetic. The impact had taken paint of the bottom of her bumper (where the tyre had hit) and transferred some blue paint from my fender, which must have occurred when the back wheel lifted off the ground. She wasn’t concerned about her vehicle (“it’s an old car anyway”). I gave her all my details and offered to pay to respray the bumper. She said she’d check with her husband but didn’t think he’d have a problem with the paint taken off. She sent me a message later to confirm that he agreed with her perspective and to wish me a safe and happy Christmas. My bike has a scuff on the very front of the fender, but it’s a late-90s 250 with almost 80k kilometres on it. The tyre must have absorbed a lot of the impact but a lot of force would have still have been transferred through the forks. The forks look, visually, to be straight and true and feel fine, but I will check them properly once I get a chance. I reported the incident, along with most of the details given here, at the local cop shop on my way home from work later on in the night. The officer there was helpful and sympathetic, but I understand that, unless I can identify the vehicle at a later stage, there is nothing they can or should do. She recommended that I immediately write down an account of the event – thus this document. I have no idea what the driver’s problem was. I was not lane splitting and I was not holding him up because there was really nowhere to go, given the traffic ahead. I might have filtered past him somewhere in a queue of cars at one of the previous intersections (in compliance with the road law – the lanes between Doncaster and Templestowe wide enough to allow you stay within a lane). Maybe he was trying to drive around me into the small gap in front. Maybe he was just an agro psycho? Who knows? I’m 100% confident that I could have responded to the situation in better ways, and could have avoided hitting the car in front. But let me just say this: my standard arsenal of road craft techniques don’t count for much when a driver is intentionally trying to crush me! That is all. If I recall other details I will add them. Edit: I didn't obtain the vehicle's rego.