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A discourse on the Brotherhood of the One True Road

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' started by v_quixotic, Jan 8, 2006.

  1. As your self-styled, self-selected visionary prophet and spiritual leader I feel it necessary to address the issue of increasing sectarianism amongst you, my flock, for many of you do persecute your 2 wheeled brethren too ferociously.

    Scooter riders, noobies, Ulyssesians and squids have all copped it.

    “And rightly so”, you may claim, “for they have broken the Road Gods’ commandments!

    Perhaps, but as the deity of another religion reminds us: Vengeance is not ours!

    Moreover, there are lessons that travellers on the one True Road can learn from these lost sheep as they learn from the shepherd. Let us then honour each of these maligned groups and reflect on the insight we can gain from the examples the set.

    Blessed are the scooter riders as they zip between the peak hour cars, wringing every ounce of meagre performance from their small two strokes, cutting dashing figures in shop widow reflections, the epitome of modish style… for they have escaped from their cages and begun their journey along the road.

    Blessed are the noobies as they ask the oft repeated questions as to which underpowered gutless 4-stroke 250 is best to serve their apprenticeship on, free from trauma of their inevitable first crash and sub-standard dealer and mechanic service… for they inhabit a wondrous realm of possibility.

    Blessed are the veteran cruiser and touring set as undiscouraged, they glide along the highways and byways in recently de-rockered denim vests recapturing the fleeting scraps of simpler bygone times… for they are having fun.

    Blessed are the squids as, unencumbered by notions of comparative safety and responsibility they spurn the prudent advice to leather up and ride with t-shirts flapping along suburbia’s streets, a tinge of sunburn on their exposed unprotected flesh… for they are truly living.

    Therein lies the message my brothers and sisters:

    Like the noobies, rediscover the realm of possibility that lead you to motorcycles in the first place. Follow the scooter rider’s lead and escape the confines of your cages, head out along the highways and byways with the cruisers and tourers and have fun. Finally, emulate the squids. Cast of your fears and apprehensions aside and truly live.

    Belated seasons greetings to all travellers on the One True Road!

    May the Road Gods’ bless you with dry tarmac and a clear path to the top of the mountain!
  2. :grin: :grin: :grin: Nice work :applause:
  3. AMEN brother!!! :) That was great!!!

    And then there was peace among the land....

  4. Thanks for the reality check, St Simon. Belated seasonal felicitations to you and your's as well :LOL:
  5. excellent !! you have reformed me ....i see the light !! .... from this day on i shall always endeavour to treat Scooter riders with the same respect I treat all other riders , I will wave and nod and if the gesture isnt replicated , then so be it .... awesome peice of work ! ..... inspiring , may i use the last line of your statement as my signature ? i would consider it an honour :applause:
  6. Get off the booze, or whatever you're smoking.
    You'll have us kissing each other on the cheek next or getting both cheeks slapped. First one then the other.

    Treat hardleys, scooters and chook chasers nicely? Like hell.

    What's the point of being nice to them? Have you tried talked to one lately? Mostly they just mumble and dribble, or is that drivle. Some even cant stand upright.

    Har that got ya. :LOL: :LOL:

    No, they are all nice people I am sure, and I will try to do unto them as they try to do unto me, except I will try to do it to them first. :p :p :p :p
  7. Brian's title as chief trouble-maker seems in no danger of being challenged :LOL: :p
  8. Hee, hee, I didn't have to wait long before someone proved that they would take up the 'anti' ; pull on the bait; and take that hook.

    Agree with you Paul...festives to you too.

    PS it was a bet to see how long it would take for someone to "'dis' on St Simon" and sic it to people who are "other" to [as in not] V-Twin riders.
  9. Chookies... respect to the all terrain bretheren! With half-cast abomination's of Motard-ness lurking in the shadows of true sport-bikedom, the thrill of the twisty even where there be no twisty surely has it's merits. :grin:

    ... on the other hand...

    Hardleys... i have time for them, yet they won't give me the time! :roll:
    Scooters... i promise to be more patient UNTIL another twat on a buzz box vespa decides he wants to cut in front of me at the lights even AFTER i lane split to the front. Vespa VS. FZR1k is not going to be pretty.
  10. Bless you, my child for your efforts. If only we all took that approach.

    As for the Vespa, a few revs through a suitably enhanced exhaust system should gently persuade it to step aside with a minimum of angst.

  11. heheheheee .... halleluejah brother !! :applause:
  12. lol - very cool, i like it!

    Don't know why the Ulyssesians are awlays bagged - one of our best mate is a member & he rides a Honda Super Blackbird. The other member we know rides a Triumph Thruxton. I wouldn't put them all in the "cruiser" category.

    Besides, my BF can't wait until he's 40 and can join as a junior member!!!

  13. Bagging Ulyssesians???? Major sport. :LOL:

    More like snobs incorporated. Should change their title to "Grow old through advanced senility" :p :p :p

    Nah, some are alright, having trouble remembering which one/s. :roll:
  14. Besides - the COTOR doesn't like BMW's... :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

    :p :p :p :p
  15. Beautiful. Best line of the post. :grin:
  16. And what is it we can learn from the mad sportsbike riders?
  17. Brother Bogus, the mad sports bike riders' lesson lies in their choice of machinery and the behaviours that makest thou label them mad.

    There is insight to be gained from many of the mad sportsbike riders’ devotions. However in the interest of relative brevity, I will highlight a few of the more common and easily recognisable traits.

    By selecting a ride that is focused on the narrowest and most elusive of riding conditions – the smooth, lightly trafficked and policed winding roads and racetracks – the mad sportsbike rider doth signal their intension to travel upon to the One True Road.

    Dost thou not knoweth where they are?

    By adorning themselves in brightly coloured designer racing leathers, the latest race replica helmets and state-of-the-art Kevlar reinforced gloves, boots and articulated body armour, the mad sportsbike rider doth signal their intension to tarry there a while.

    Hast thou not yearned for thy quota?

    By staying up late every second Sunday during the season to bear witness to the mastery feats of Grads Prix and Superbike racers, to revel in their accomplishments and ride against them in their dreams, the mad sportsbike rider doth signal their immersion in the doctrine of the One True Road.

    Hast thou not arrived at thy place of servitude bleary eyed and lethargic from lack of sleep?

    Brother Bogus, the mad sportsbike rider teaches one much, but the lessons are complex and multi-faceted. Like the monks and nuns of devotional religious monasteries of less visceral faiths, the mad sportsbike riders’ enlightenment at hand even though it will forever elude the laity.