As your self-styled, self-selected visionary prophet and spiritual leader I feel it necessary to address the issue of increasing sectarianism amongst you, my flock, for many of you do persecute your 2 wheeled brethren too ferociously. Scooter riders, noobies, Ulyssesians and squids have all copped it. “And rightly so”, you may claim, “for they have broken the Road Gods’ commandments!” Perhaps, but as the deity of another religion reminds us: Vengeance is not ours! Moreover, there are lessons that travellers on the one True Road can learn from these lost sheep as they learn from the shepherd. Let us then honour each of these maligned groups and reflect on the insight we can gain from the examples the set. Blessed are the scooter riders as they zip between the peak hour cars, wringing every ounce of meagre performance from their small two strokes, cutting dashing figures in shop widow reflections, the epitome of modish style… for they have escaped from their cages and begun their journey along the road. Blessed are the noobies as they ask the oft repeated questions as to which underpowered gutless 4-stroke 250 is best to serve their apprenticeship on, free from trauma of their inevitable first crash and sub-standard dealer and mechanic service… for they inhabit a wondrous realm of possibility. Blessed are the veteran cruiser and touring set as undiscouraged, they glide along the highways and byways in recently de-rockered denim vests recapturing the fleeting scraps of simpler bygone times… for they are having fun. Blessed are the squids as, unencumbered by notions of comparative safety and responsibility they spurn the prudent advice to leather up and ride with t-shirts flapping along suburbia’s streets, a tinge of sunburn on their exposed unprotected flesh… for they are truly living. Therein lies the message my brothers and sisters: Like the noobies, rediscover the realm of possibility that lead you to motorcycles in the first place. Follow the scooter rider’s lead and escape the confines of your cages, head out along the highways and byways with the cruisers and tourers and have fun. Finally, emulate the squids. Cast of your fears and apprehensions aside and truly live. Belated seasons greetings to all travellers on the One True Road! May the Road Gods’ bless you with dry tarmac and a clear path to the top of the mountain!