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A cafe racer's prayer

Discussion in 'General Motorcycling Discussion' at netrider.net.au started by mattb, Sep 24, 2007.

  1. Came across this on another forum, and thought we could observe a quiet moment to reflect on it:



    Our Triton who art in the shed, alloy be thy frame
    Thy rearsets come. Thy will be Dunlop, on tarmac as it is on cobblestones.
    Give us this day our oily stains.
    And forgive us our downshifts, as we slow for the roundabout.
    And lead us not into the checkpoint, but deliver us from the bobbies. For speed is the desire, and the opiate, and the glory, for ever. Amen
     
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  2. thats the shit :LOL: :twisted:
    what was the forum that u found that on?
     
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  3. Gunna print that out!
     
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  4. :idea: While we're on religous themes heres one for those around the Sydney/ Newie area (froma LLLOOONNNNGGGG way back BTW)





    THE EVOLUTION OF THE MOTORCYCLE
    ON THE FIRST DAY. GOD CREATED THE HEAVENS, THE EARTH AND THE WISEMAN'S FERRY ROAD. BUT HE WAS NOT HAPPY-- HIS KINGSWOOD WOULD SWAY ON THE CORNERS, CRAWL UP THE HILLS AND USE HEAPS OF JUICE.
    ON THE SECOND DAY. GOD TOOK A NEW TRACK, AND CREATED THE STEPTHROUGH. HE ENJOYED THE WIND IN HIS HAIR, IT WAS FUN, AND USED BUGGER ALL PETROL, BUT STILL CRAWLED UP THE HILLS.
    SO ON THE THIRD DAY. GOD CREATED THE HONDA FOUR, AND IT FLEW UP THE HILLS. WITH FOUR INTO ONES, IT SOUNDED BETTER. IT NEVER BROKE DOWN BUT THE CORNERS REMAINED A PROBLEM. YET HE HAD TASTED POWER, AND CRAVED FOR MORE.
    THUS ON THE FOURTH DAY. HE ADDED TWO MORE CYLINDERS TO HIS HONDA AND CREATED ADRENALIN. HIS INSURANCE PREMIUM DOUBLED AND IT COST A FORTUNE TO GET THE TAPPETS DONE. HE ALSO CREATED FEAR AND THE CLICHÉ "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH".
    ON THE FIFTH DAY. GOD PULLED A FEW CONES, HAD A RAP WITH WILLY G. AND CREATED THE HARLEY - DAVIDSON. HE WOULD CRUISE UP AND DOWN THE HILLS IN TOP GEAR AND PICK UP HEAPS OF PUSSY. HE WOULD GET OFF ON THE NOTE BUT THE HOG WAS TOO HEAVY, BROKE DOWN A LOT AND HANDLED LIKE THE KINGSWOOD.
    THEN ON THE SIXTH DAY. HE MADE THE BONNEVILLE.
    HE STILL GOT PUSSY OUTSIDE THE WISEO PUB. IT SOUNDED GOOD. HIS BIKE WAS LIGHT AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THE CORNERS WERE FUN. IT HANDLED!!
    GOD WAS STOKED. BUT THE VIBRATION GAVE HIM A PAIN IN THE ARSE, HIS KIDNEYS WERE HISTORY, IT WAS A TOUCH GUTLESS AND HE RAN OUT OF JUICE EVERY 100 MILES. HE WASN'T HAPPY BUT SHIT HE WAS CLOSE.
    SO ON THE SEVENTH DAY. GOD PRODUCED A SCOOT WITH THE SPEED OF THE HONDA, THE TORQUE OF HARLEY, AND THE HANDLING OF THE TRIUMPH. HE COULD AFFORD THE PETROL, TUNE IT HIMSELF, and PICK UP PUSSY AND STILL BLOW OFF NORTONS THROUGH THE CORNERS.
    HE CALLED HIS BIKE DUCATI AND HE WAS HAPPY!!!!!!! :grin: :grin: :grin:

    :grin: :grin:
     
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  5. Ducati eh?

    ...Crickets chirping, your on your own there mate :p
     
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  6. Crickets ???? more like tyres :p
     
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  7. And then god went to get a DUCATI T shirt from the dealer and got slugged $120... God was not happy and struck down the overcharging B%$&^%stards.

    K
     
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  8. The forum of the Ton Up Club
    http://www.tonup.com/
    (Scroll half way down and click on the link "BOOK OF THE CAFE RACER" to see the very funny thread which contains this prayer)
     
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  9. Yeh, that bike sure made a mechanic out of him!!! :p
     
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  10. Excuse me, I'm just off to fit clip-ons, rear-sets and a single seat to my bike after reading that.
     
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  11. :roll: :roll: :roll: :LOL:
     
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  12. .....and then God decided he needed more speed and style but not at the expense of reliability, so he created Aprilia :p .

    ...but the shirts were ugly and costed a fortune so he commissioned a Chinese factory to make clones at a quarter of the price and all was well..until customs caught up with him.
     
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  13. amen

    praise the LORD-AH


    are you with club aprilia? they're sending me a free tee for doing a survey
     
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