Welcome to Netrider ... Connecting Riders!

Interested in talking motorbikes with a terrific community of riders?
Signup (it's quick and free) to join the discussions and access the full suite of tools and information that Netrider has to offer.

9 things I h8!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by D Stump, Sep 12, 2007.

  1. 1, ->->->Billy Connolly<-<-<-

    2, people who just aren't funny but think they are [billy connolly, any friend of rove macmanis, the pannel, etc]

    3, parents who encourage untalented kids to do more than make sandwiches [ peter hella, etc]

    4, people who ask me if i need a hand when i clearly need a foot! :roll:

    5, the pure enjoyment of my own fart when i realize....i didnt fart :shock:

    6, when the terror attacks miss their target [insurance company] and hit innocent people instead

    7, george bush, esp on that day when he was shaking hands with the people who love him and look up to him, george put his $35 watch in his pocket so they wont rip it off him ??????????????????????

    8, 2 more to go and im funnier than connelly!

    9, stump it out!
  2. You can't 'hate' Billy Connolly.

    It's not allowed.
  3. You can actually Ktulu. It requires an extreme humour deficiency though. Perhaps Jax's funny bone was damaged in the crash.
  4. Damaged?? looks like it was completely riped out :?

    And as for #8, oh no your not.
  5. How can you hate Billy??? Rove, I can understand (the shortest kid at school, who learned that if he poked fun at people, he'd get attention), but not Billy, fer goodness sake.
  6. Sorry Jax but I love Billy and think he is a pissa, but that could just be my stupid sense of humor :p :LOL:
  7. i havent seen any of the guys movies and im not going to!


    were those insurance company add supose to be funny?

    now, how many of you [apparently normal] people would go see the pope in person if he came to your town?

  8. Not religious at all, so I'd stay away to avoid the throngs of, "Oh, PLEASE, let me kiss your ring!!!" fanatics.

    (No, not THAT ring.)
  9. Jax, I'm with the others here. Whats not to like about Billy Conolly? No point hating his accent. The Scots can't lose it. You will also never lose your posh Lane Cove accent.

  10. cookeeetree

    MVrog wrote

    ^ just look at how god damn funny you guys are! how can you think billy connally is funny? you're funnier!

    ive never heard billy connelly say one funny thing [apart from the pointing at watch/crutch comment]

    you please tell me something funny he said people
  11. Nope. With your pox attitude, it is not worth the trouble.
  12. something funny from the billy connally is all i ask.

    reason being, im seriously of the impression you lovely people cant pruduce it. mainstream has told you he's funny and you may have believed it without making up your own mind [no offense].

    chop chop

    funny connally quote please

    yeah yeah, im a biatch, i know it :cool:
  13. Not many australians can understand the Glasgow accent, hence they don't find Billy funny.
    As for the requested quote

    "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. "
  14. “The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started?â€

    “Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.â€

    “What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?â€

    “I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.â€

    “My parents used to take me to the pet store and tell me it was a zoo.â€

    "I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow."

    "Poor Michael Jackson and these sex allegations. As if it's not bad enough him being a Jehova's Witness, they're accusing him of behaving like a catholic priest!"

    Now, tell me you didn't find at least ONE of those somewhat humorous...
  15. jafu wrote

    cookeetree wrote

    thought provoking, but i wouldnt say funny


    ^^^^NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!!!^^^^




    uuuummmmmm............................. eh

    thanks for the jokes!

    cheers :cool:
  16. Hooray!!!!

    You're welcome. :wink:

    Now, go rent The Man Who Sued God. :grin:
  17. cookeetree wrote

    ha ha! now ya pushing it! :LOL:

    you go rent 'love serinade'

    cheers :cool:
  18. Billy tells funny stories, that is his stock in trade so to speak. Hire a DVD of his and I dare you not to laugh at him. The ads were pretty crap. Oh his trip around Australia on a trike was pretty funny. He is one of the best story tellers going around.

    Peter Heller as Strauchnie is a scream! It's a Melbourne thing but he pokes so much fun at COllingwood supporters!
  19. Plot:

    In Sunray, a backwater town on Australia's Murray River, there's little to do but fish or listen to the local radio station. D.J. Ken Sherry arrives from the hustle of Brisbane to run the station; he's mid-40s, detached, thrice divorced, hatchet faced. But both sisters next door find him attractive: awkward Dimity, only 20, who works in a Chinese restaurant with few patrons, and perky Vicki-Ann, a hairdresser with a hope chest who invents a happy future with Sherry based on little but his arrival. First Dimity then Vicki-Ann spend the night with Ken, one concluding he's her boy friend, the other her fiance. Then Dimity begins to smell something fishy.

    Mrs Tree teaches Film, so we've got hundreds of movies, but I've never heard of this one! Sounds............interesting........ :wink:

    Make you a deal; you watch T.M.W.S.G. and I'll watch L.S.

    Whaddaya think???
  20. cookeetree wrote

    you will not see a better work of art, l s is the ultimate! its very australian [this film inspired kath and kim but did a much better job of it], the acting is sensational! dimity is a virgin so her sex scene is a classic!

    oh all right! but only cause im generous! :LOL: