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9 great speeding excuses

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Mouth, Feb 26, 2006.

  1. 1. Sorry officer, but your mumma hates it when I'm late

    2. I blacked-out after being buzzed by a UFO, and came out of the lights when I saw your blue lights

    3. I've got diarrhoea, and wanted to get home before I filled my leathers

    4. A gust of wind pushed me over the limit

    5. I had to rush my dying hamster to teh vet, but he seems to have fallen off

    6. Sorry, I thought you fancied a race

    7. Put it on my tab, officer

    8. I was looking at the rev counter by mistake

    9. How about best of three?
  2. The hamster one gets my vote :LOL:
  3. Took ya bloody time puttin them up didnt ya? :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  4. How's that fence building coming Dean? :LOL: :cheeky:
  5. I used the put it on my tab line last time i was pulled over... The officer wasnt very amused :roll:
  6. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  7. I heard 2 things about thgsi on the weekend.

    1. If you jump off the bike andrun and do a piss or a shit you wilkl get let off cos they have to excuse bidily functions (though i would think this is pretty risky strategy)

    2. In the car when you get pulled over to breath test - keep a 375ml of Jacks under the seat - leap from the car and chuck the copper the keys (absolve yourselfe of vehicle responsability) and skull the drink, tell them you ahve been dyiung to pull over and have that.

    They wont be able to prove if you had a drink before hand, you are out of the car, admit you arfe waiting for a responsable time to have one, and you dont have the keys...again thyis might be a risky strategy :)
  8. 7. Put it on my tab, officer

    thats GREAT stuff looks like the best option for me!! :LOL:
  9. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: outstanding!
  10. That wasn't speeding, :roll: you should've seen me earlier! :cool:
  11. gold.

    i got pulled over by the lovely SA coppers once for doing 135 in a 110 zone.. i had just had the car up to 210 and was worried i was gunna get nailed.
    i asked the copper how much i was doing, and when he said 135 i said "is that it?!"
    i got off light that weekend.
  12. Thats if their able to catch U :grin:
  13. The cop pulled over the Irishman, and asked: "Were you speeding?"
    The Irishman replied: "No, but I passed a lot of people who were....."
  14. well they just meet me at my home later on--- knockin at my door--- :mad:
  15. I hate the feeling when you see them pull up in the driveway and you just know that you are gone :(
  16. Happened to me once when I was living at home still..

    Cops turned their lights on me, & as they were doing a U-turn
    to come up behind me, I floored it.

    Drove home. Was getting out of the car when I see cop car driving
    slowly with their spot lights looking down people's drive ways so I ran
    to the back door & jumped into the next door neighbours house.

    They came knocked on the door; woke mum who didnt know what
    the hell was going on etc.

    Hrs later I went back home & mum said they came into my bedroom
    looking for me & even looked under my bed. :LOL:

    They left a note on my windscreen to see em the next day, so I did :oops:

    They got me for not stopping & speeding. I told em my mate picked
    me up from my place. They said bullshit. Your engine was still hot
    & U did a runner bc U were pissed :LOL:
  17. There was one on the MR2 owners forum recently - guy was speeding and pulled into his driveway. Cops found him but he claimed that he'd only just got up and was about to head into work. Cops felt the bonnet, noticed it was cold and left him alone (MR2s have the engine in the back :wink: :LOL:).
  18. 11. I wasn't speeding officer, i am qualifying. So can we please make this quick because the clock is ticking.

  19. Closer to home a BMW rider in Victoria managed to get out of a speed camera fine after proving that in doing so he managed to avoid hitting another vehicle (which pulled out in front of him).
    Full Article.