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14 things a man can do at K-Mart while waiting for the wife.

Discussion in 'Jokes and Humour' started by Fixed, Jun 20, 2005.

  1. 14 things a man can do at K-Mart ... while his wife is taking her sweet ass

    1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

    2. Set all the alarm clocks in Home-wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies rest-room.

    4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: "Code 3 in
    House wares!" and see what happens.

    5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.

    6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

    7. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department -- and tell other shoppers you're sleeping over; invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding

    8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me ALONE!?!?!?!?"

    9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

    10. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

    11. In the Auto Department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.

    12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!

    13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NOOOOOOOOOOO! It's those voices again!!!"

    14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while, then yell loudly:
    "There's no toilet paper in here!"
  2. Hope you don't mind me adding one but...

    Syncronise the clocks on all the stereos and then set the alarms so they all come on at full volume at the same time.

    I've found setting them all to the once channel works better then random ones ;)
  3. Classic, and judging by some of the denizens of Netrider, I've no doubt that all of these have been done by someone or other, and some may even admit to it!
  4. :D sssmmmiillleeeeyyy
  5. I didn't even know k-mart carried condoms...
  6. A cousin of mine fell asleep in a Kmart clothes rack while we were playin hide and seek, does that count?
  7. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

    :LOL: teeeehehehehehhehehee :D

    oh, the loks you get. especially from the other half :shock:
  8. Note: Repeated commando rolls across the aisles in safeway gets you kicked out.....who could have predicted that?
  9. In the crowded aisle's walk with a huge limp and watch everyone part ways to let you through, also doubles up to embarrass the SO too :)
  10. I don't even want to know how you know this.... And don't lie and tell me it was your mate :p
  11. Re: 14 things a man can do at K-Mart while waiting for the w

    15. Hoon around the place on a pocket bike whilst carying a plastic lance from the toy department and see how long you can evade store security :)
  12. So does consuming alcohol in Coles Echuca as I found out last w/e :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
  13. I have also found that loudly singing the TV advertising jingle that she hates the most works well.
  14. Actually a couple of mates were doing it too....we were part of a crack unit on Manoeuvres. :LOL:

    Arrrh the things you do after school in a country town.
  15. When I was about 3 or 4 years old my mum took me to david jones and when she was looking at kitchen appliances I needed to go to the toilet, so, thinking i was all grown up i found a toilet and took a shit and a piss in it. The problem was it was a display model in the middle of she shop. When my mum found out, other than being unable to control her laughter, she couldnt get us out of there quick enough.

  16. bwahahahahahahhahaa i wondered where they got that idea from on jackass :LOL: i tip my hat to you sir :D
  17. AAHhhhhh Now the screen name makes sense :LOL: :p :LOL:
  18. Well you did have to test it to see if it was worth buying!
    And the fact you left the shop so fast must have been because it was a bad toilet
    And im guessing here, that it did not flush?
  19. Well it wasnt hooked up to anything and had no water in it.