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Kid in a lolly shop

  1. So one of the (hundreds) of things I love about bike people is this: In any ordinary room you say “I think I’m going to go bike shopping…” and nothing much happens. Someone looks up from their keyboard briefly, a particularly bright spark may say “Whatcha gunna get, a Harley?” (Guffaw guffaw) but that’s it.

    In a room full of bike people, it’s like chucking a grenade into a trout lake. Pull the pin, then sit down, open a beer, and wait for it to start raining bike links :)

    It’s because we all want everything. There is, as gizzogizzo said earlier, too much choice. Too many awesome, yummy, sexy, delicious, powerful, exciting two wheeled lovelies out there for us to be even remotely satisfied without doing some window shopping once in a while. Quite often. Or every time there’s one within eyesight.

    I mean, there’s the bike we want because its practical. Then there’s the bike we want because it’s the Elle McPherson or Travis Fimmel (pre Vikings) of the bike world. (Looks incredible, performs immaculately, likes a good polish on the weekend.) Then there’s the bike we want because it makes us smile a little mischievous smile and think about how many of the things we’re not supposed to do that we can probably try and maybe even get away with together. And then there’s the bike that we really can’t ever imagine we could ever, ever have done enough good things in life to be granted.

    Actually, now I listen to myself saying this, I guess they kind of are like lovers. Ha.

    When it comes to bikes, we all have a wandering eye. Difference is, with bikes, it’s perfectly acceptable to have as many as you can afford to play with. ;)

    So while having a wicked time with my wonderful mentor yesterday afternoon, and getting all my confidence back, I got the green light to go shopping (I don’t mean I needed permission. I just mean a voice in agreement with the voice in my head which I am never sure is entirely sane and so prefer to seek a second opinion) And yes, there is TOO much choice. Because there are so many potential deciding factors that I haven’t, well, decided on yet.

    What I do know is that this is second bike. Second bike is a two-year bike. Second bike is a ‘have heaps of fun’, put on plenty of spontaneous Ks, laugh a LOT and probably fall off once or twice on some iffy dirtroad that was tarmac once and I shouldn’t really have still been on but wtf and hehehe bike. Second bike is not the love of my life. Second bike won’t get me standing at end of an aisle promising eternity. Second bike is not going to have my babies. Second bike and I aren’t going to shop for furniture together. But we are going to have one HELL of a good time, and when we part – if we ever fully do – it will be with a smile, and a wink, and a little final twist of the wrist.

    I don’t give a monkeys if second bike is cool to t-shirt wearing 24 year old hoon racers on a forecourt or not. I couldn’t care less what second bike’s top speed is, or how fast it can 0-60 (as long as it’s longer than my current…..three….and….a…………...half……minutes……) or what exhaust it has or how many bits of it are carbon fibre. You know why? Because there’s every chance that, when I’m experimenting with what we can and can’t do I might be going to break them anyway. Not at high speed taking a twisty, but at really slow speed trying to avoid a really pee’d off wombat. Or snap one off as I dig around under something trying to get to the whatsit because the thingo cable is busted (and believe me, if anyone can accidentally snap a carbon fibre part off a bike while innocently going “hey, what does this do?” it’s me.)

    But of course, I want second bike to make me look at her and go “Holy shit, honey, we’re kinda da bomb right now… where shall we go?”

    And I want her to be a bit unique. Because we’re not the cookie cutter type, me and her.

    And I want her to have a bigger front tyre than I have now, because I frequently look down and think “Seriously, we may as well be on ice skates right now.”

    And I want her to turn on a pin. And take off a little bit like a rocket. Just a little bit ;)

    What I don’t know are things like:

    How am I paying for her and when? Because if I want to I can go right out and get very comfortable finance on something around $6k from a showroom. Not a moment’s hesitation. 2 year terms, bang, done. New bike come at me.

    But what am I buying? The too-heavy newish 180-190 kilo 300s or 400s that I like? See, there the likelihood of dropping rises, and although I don’t really have any intention to sell this next bike on (unless I make a mistake in the purchase, which I plan on trying quite hard to avoid) I am more reluctant to do that with a 6K treat. And also it may not just be while negotiating a ford in Deep Creek – it could be negotiating a Ford on the Southern Expressway.

    (Pre-emptive strike here: DON’T tell me ValvolineValvoline has the perfect lightweight bike for what I need! I wish I could bear to look at one, I do, I hear you all. But I dated an ugly man once. That should be enough.)

    ( Sorry V, personal taste all the way ;) Besides, this isn’t a remake of Single White Female. Lol.)

    So then there’s the other option. And it is making my eyes spark quite a lot...

    I go buy something original, late 70s early 80s. I go play on some to see what weight and power I like best, and I choose one that is mechanically sound, that makes me smile when I look at it, and makes me grin when I do my first circuit of the car park. And then I make it my own. Café it up a bit – but only a bit. Not so much it should be on a dais. Just enough that it says “Claire” but nobody will cry if it gets bird poo on it or falls over in some mud. Some beautiful roughness. Let’s call it tousled. Lol. Colour her in whatever colour I like (and then buy a new lid to go with it, because I am very unlikely to go with orange unless I buy the Bennelli) and get to grips with what makes her suck push bang blow, maybe add a few owl stickers and Nirvana lyrics…. Oh, hang on, not a school History book. Sorry. ;) Anyway, you get my drift.

    Brilliant idea. Absolutely cannot see any reason why I haven’t decided. That sounds like a plan!

    Dammit, to do that I have to wait.
    Because If I’m going to buy something, paint it in candy stripes and polka dots and ride it into the ground (quite literally) then I’m not spending 6k in a showroom. I’ll be buying off Gumtree with Uncle Eric along to look her over for me. And Gumtree don’t offer finance. :stop: So I will have to save up, which (with the traffic fines and a family emergency to cover off on right now) I can’t start til the end of October. Which means it will be New Years before I can go get one. (And nobody sells their bike in the middle of summer. Even their old 350 which they haven’t ridden for 9 months and the wife hates, looks appealing in December) And wait??!! Gah! I’m not a waity kind of girl. I try but it makes me pout. And whine, just a bit. And scowl ever so slightly. And stamp my foot.
    It also hasn’t escaped me that if that’s the route I choose I had better be pretty sure that I don’t want any more clothes, furniture, perfume, or nice, pretty things, because the bike will need. And want. And need… and scratch at the door at night whispering “…those mirrors you sawwwwwwww…” and there will be my disposable income, down the pan.

    Oh it’s such a dilemma. Immediate versus delayed gratification.
    Yep, bikes are easily as bad as lovers. ;)

    First world problems. I am so lucky to have no worse.

    The ascent of bike... maybe.

    sachs. ___ fichas tecnicas de motos — Ficha tecnica y foto_ SUZUKI GN 250. ___ Motorcycles _ “BabyBlues” A Suzuki Thunder 250 by The Katros. Custom '10 Triumph Street Triple (outside death valley) - Imgur. Norton Dominator SS Roadtest - Return of the Cafe Racers.

    About Author

    Erm. Female. Newbie. Read the rest, you'll get to know me.
    gre03, Sibi, Havnacrack67 and 6 others like this.


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  1. Batchy
    You're right JuniperSachs. One bike isn't enough.
    While riding the black top and look up the side tracks, I'm thinking "I wonder what's up that road?"
    I know an adventure 800 parallel twin would fit the bill nicely, but spending the bills, is always the issue.

    Thanks for thinking out loud for us.
      JuniperSachs likes this.
    1. JuniperSachs
      Aw, you're welcome Batchy :) I probably shouldn't be encouraged though.
  2. b12mick
    A GN250 was my first bike. My opinion. Don't. Just don't. Personally I think the CD250U (my wife's first bike) is a better bike, more fun and a damn site better looking.
    1. View previous replies...
    2. b12mick
      I've only truly been scared for my life once on a bike. It was on the GN250. Getting monstered by B doubles that were overtaking me going up hill isn't what I call fun. Under powered piece of shit. Fine for around town but that's about it.
    3. JuniperSachs
      You see? Its all so subjective. I need me some test rides....
      b12mick likes this.
    4. b12mick
      Yes. Yes you do. You should always test ride bikes.

      I've owned my current bike since 2002 and have no intention of replacing it any time soon, but that does't stop me from test riding other bikes any time I get the chance. I'll even test ride bikes I'm pretty sure I won't like, just in case.
      JuniperSachs likes this.
  3. Petesul
    You're a "wild child", you'd be a handful I'm sure....
    1. JuniperSachs
      Haha Ah, Pete its all false advertising. I'm really a very boring grown up with a dull job. :)
    2. Petesul
      Nah, you're cool! FFS, that comment puts me into a category, doesn't it?
      Gigi Bytes and JuniperSachs like this.
  4. Petesul
    Yep, I love my bike! Wherever I throw it in a corner, it just goes there! Don't need to install heated grips, just hit the switch, don't need to turn off indicators, it does it, don't need to check tyre pressures, it shows me, don't need to maintain the chain, it's a belt drive, nobody else will turn up one, even if it's a 200 bike fundraiser ride.

    Did I say I love my bike?

    So as a wild child, you want a wild side bike,,,
    1. JuniperSachs
      Ah, it's a lazy man bike, gotcha. ;) And haha, I didn't say I was a wild child (well, I might have been actually) - I said a little bit... ;)
      Petesul likes this.
    2. Petesul
      Nope, not a lazy mans bike. The fuel tank is under the seat (best design bit of the whole bike), which means the centre of gravity is lower than most sports bikes. Only 85 horses, but a truckload of torque as the two cylinders go up and down together (see, we're different). All that means is that you cannot afford to go lazy in a corner, lucky the screams are muffled by my helmet.

      Mentoring you would have been fun, I'll bet.....
      JuniperSachs likes this.
    3. JuniperSachs
      I think you'd better ask Uncle Eric in a month or two. Lol.
      Petesul likes this.
  5. Petesul
    Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way, but you're on the right track. ;)

    I love my fugly bike, it's perfect for fugly me! :cool:
      Daytona500 and JuniperSachs like this.
    1. JuniperSachs
      And isn't that exactly what second bike should be? A perfect mirror for our inner bike :)
      ....Hence my seeking something classic, straightforward, playful, unique, attractive but not all perfect-n-sh*t, with a little bit of a wild side. ;)
      Petesul likes this.
  6. Petesul
    I've just read your blog (or tried to anyway), it is the perfect example of the major difference between a man and a woman. I've always contended that the physical differences, although bleedingly obvious, and delightfully so, are not the main differences between female and male.

    I'd better read it again to see if I can figure out what it all means. Suffice to say, it's funny and I like it.

    My second bike is fugly BTW.
    1. View previous replies...
    2. Petesul
      That link, the red pill or the blue pill? Or the rabbit hole? I'm afraid to go there...
      Shorty- and JuniperSachs like this.
    3. Petesul
      Got the link working Shorty. They're kidding themselves if they think the answers can be contained in the pages of a mere book. Obviously they took the red pill and went down the rabbit hole. Good effort mate to try to set me on the straight and narrow! I bet the conclusion goes in circles!
      Shorty- likes this.
    4. Shorty-
      At the end of the book it simply states to return to chapter one and repeat.
      Petesul likes this.
  7. JuniperSachs
    ..Sad update... apparently I cant afford an RD350 :cry:
    1. View previous replies...
    2. Shorty-
      That's a nice gizzogizzo High Five!
      JuniperSachs likes this.
    3. gizzo
      Well, I'm a nice fellow :). If you're keen on a RD350, I guess that means you're ok with kick start only? In that case, go look at a new SR400. They're too expensive but maybe they whould do a sweet deal (no one else is buying them) and can buy tons of bits to make instant cafe racer. Then bring it to meeeeeee. I wanna have a go.
      Shorty- and JuniperSachs like this.
    4. JuniperSachs
      Shorty- likes this.
  8. Shorty-
    Now that has to be the most dramatic breakdown of deciding on a bike I have ever seen, but it somes it up well.

    Except the three and a half minutes, That's a bit short.... ;p

    Good luck with the quest.
      JuniperSachs likes this.
    1. JuniperSachs
      Haha dramatic? Well all those thoughts happen pretty quick, so its a very fast drama ;) Thanks Shorty. :)