So I meet this guy and he calls up wanting to see me, here's a rough outline of what transpires:
Me: "Wanna come over and get all down n dirty with me?"
Him: "Sh** yeah, I'll be there in 5!"
Cool I think to myself, was wondering how I was going to achieve this by myself.
Me: "Check out the toys in my room, I've got some hot leather gear too"
Never seen a guy grin so big, he must have the same passions as me!
Me: "So you ready to get it on? Grab the lube"
Me: "Right there with my toys and leathers"
Me: "Do you want me to pull and you squirt?"
Him: "Sounds good to me"
What a great guy I'm thinking, ready to jump right in!
Me: "Just let me change into something more appropriate and comfortable"
Him: "Just make it black"
Me: "No problem, things are a bit rusty so black is good"
Him:"Won't be rusty when I'm finished with it"
Me: "Excellent, I want to show it off next time I'm out with the guys"
Him: "Wow, you're not shy are you?"
Me: "Hey, if you got it, flaunt it"
Him: "Sh** let's get this thing happening"
Me: "Better rug up, it's a bit cool outside"
Him: "Why we going outside? Are you into others watching?"
Me: "Well I'm sure there'll be the occasional passerby but I doubt they'll think it's photo worthy"
Him: "I reckon they would!"
Me: "Jet's camera shy"
Him: "Who's Jet?"
Me: "Only the best ride I've ever had!"
Him: "Hhhmmm, well what am I supposed to do while you're with Jet?"
Me: "Grab his ass of course!"
Me: "I want to clean Jet's chain"
Him: "Okay, never heard it called that before but I guess I'm up for it"
Me: "Cool, then grab those cans and let's go"
Him: "Oh f***!"
Don't think he wants to see me again ... and he didn't even hang around to help clean my chain! I will never understand men - ppppfffttt!! ha ha ha